The Peace of God Transcends All Understanding

September 29, 2011

Just wanted to give a quick update, I have an appointment scheduled Monday with a Hepatologist (liver doc).  I am still waiting to have an ultrasound and lab work scheduled.  We are praying that all tests can be done and come back fine next week.  If so, we could be rescheduled for surgery as early as Thursday.  But, as we are learning this will all happen on God’s time.  I am a bit of a controller and I like for things to be very planned out.  I have to admit, this is a challenge for me to give up control and allow God to fully work in my life!  Today was a bit of a struggle for me.  Every time I looked at the clock, I would think what would have been happening at that moment had surgery taken place as planned.  I know Gary is meant to have my kidney…...just not today.  We have to allow God’s plan to fall into place in His own time!

Gary shared some amazing scriptures with me that have brought him comfort today.  Jeremiah 29:11-13, Romans 8:26-28, Psalm 42, Psalm 46, and the last verse:

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.   Philippians 4:4-7

While we may never fully understand the mysterious will of God, we must fully trust the will of our God!

I would also like to report that my sweet friend Dana’s surgery today was a success!  PRAISE GOD!! Jennifer’s new kidney is producing urine & functioning!  Jennifer and Dana are both doing well.  I am so thankful that God has blessed them with this miracle today!  Please continue prayers for them as they recover.

Setback

September 28, 2011

Today was a very disappointing day…..surgery has been put on hold.  I don’t know if I can put into words how I am feeling right now.  I had an appointment with my surgeon, Dr. Campsen, to ask any last minute questions.  Everything seemed fine while I was in his office.  However, on my way home I got a phone call from Dr Campsen.  He asked if I could come back to his office to discuss my lab results.  It turns out that I had an elevated bilirubin count.  Bilirubin is produced when the liver beaks down old red blood cells.  A high bilirubin count can mean several things.  Dr. Campsen said for me it could mean one of 3 things, it could be stress induced (obviously I am stressed), It could mean something is wrong with my gall bladder, or it could be something called Gilbert’s disease.  If stress is causing my billirubin count to be elevated, they are concerned how my body would handle the stress of surgery.  Dr. Campsen said if the liver becomes so stressed during surgery it could cause my liver to fail.  If it is my gallbladder they will have to remove it before we can proceed with surgery. The last possibility, Gilbert’s disease is the one that I am actually hoping for.  Gilbert’s disease is disorder that affects about 5% of the population; it causes elevated bilirubin counts without being a danger. If it is Gilbert’s disease, we could proceed with surgery in the very near future.  So, I need to have MORE testing done.  I am waiting to hear back from Dr. Campsen’s office on when exactly my test will be scheduled.  They are hoping to have me come in sometime in the next few days for an ultrasound of my gall bladder and bile ducts; and of course more blood work.  I will meet with a hematologist on Monday; he will review my results and determine if we can move forward with surgery.  If cleared, we could have surgery next Thursday.  While I am thankful that the Doctors want to make certain that everything is safe and not put Gary or I in any danger, I am devastated. 

Gary and I both had appointments with the surgeon today.  When I saw Gary this morning he had just come from dialysis.  I said to him, “I bet you are excited that you just had your last dialysis!”  Needless to say, it was heartbreaking when I had to call Gary and tell him the bad news.  I feel horrible for Gary and his family; I can only imagine what they must be feeling. Gary and Christy are two of the most positive people I know.  They both assured me that God is in control and everything will go according to His plan.  The doctor did tell me that he still feels I am a great candidate for surgery and he feels that everything will be fine.  I told him, “I know everything will be fine because God has called me to do this and I know that Gary is meant to have my kidney.”  I know God’s plan will continue for Gary & me and I am certain there is a reason for this.  This was an emotionally draining day for both my family and the McNeil’s.  I am asking that everyone please pray hard for Gary and me!! I know that God is in control, but I feel He is testing my faith.  I am trying to stay strong and give it all to God!!

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”  Mathew 11:28

Today was not all bad; I did get the pleasure of meeting Dana. Dana is the sweet woman I met through my blog who is also a donor.  I know God makes no mistakes and I am certain he crossed mine and Dana’s paths for a reason.  Dana is a very special woman who has a heart for God.  Dana will have surgery tomorrow.  Please keep her and Jennifer in your prayers!!

Me and My new dear friend Dana

Beautiful Sunday

What an awesome day!!  We joined the McNiel Family for a wonderful service at their church this morning.  The amazing people at The Fellowship of First Baptist in Royse City surrounded us in a very special time of prayer!  Gary and Christy are blessed to have the support of such a loving church family!  Next, we had a yummy lunch at the McNiel house.  It was wonderful for our families to spend time together before this very exciting week.  We are only days away from surgery and I have complete peace that everything will go according to Gods mighty plan!!  Here are a few pictures of our two families.  This week the McNiel family and Kelly family will forever become one!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  Hebrews 11:1

7 Days

September 22, 2011

Only 7 more days!!!  By this time next week Gary will have a new kidney!  I am so excited!  I spent the past week feeling extremely nervous and this week I am just so excited!  I have my hospital bag packed & I am ready to go.  I feel so blessed that I have such amazing support from family & friends!  My sister & my parents are coming in town for the surgery.  My mom will stay to help out for a week and then my mother-in-law will be coming for a few days.  I also have several friends who have offered to bring some meals for my family.  I am SO thankful that I have these people in my life!  It gives me so much peace to know that my boys & I will be well cared for during my recovery.  Please be in prayer for both my boys and the McNiel children during this time; ask God to calm any fears they may be having.   Thanks so much for all of your prayers as Gary & I prepare for surgery. 

We live by faith, not by sight.  2 Corinthians 5:7

Fully Trusting God

September 15, 2011

Surgery is only 2 weeks away!  I am feeling excited, nervous, & anxious!  I have been struggling with some fears lately…..it’s normal in this situation, I guess.  I have been worrying a lot about my boys, what if something was to happen to me during surgery.  I have two beautiful boys who mean the world to me, Gavin is 8 and Ian is 6.  Off and on during this process I have let my heart be filled with fear and concern for my children.  During one of my long testing days at the Transplant Center I met a woman who was hoping to donate a kidney to her dad.  She also had a son and expressed her fears to me.  She asked me if I had thought about writing a letter to say “goodbye” to my children……just in case.  I had not even thought about that until she mentioned it.  Later that afternoon, I met with the social worker who asked me if I had a will.  She gave me forms for a living will and advanced medical directives forms, “in the event that something was to happen to me”.  I struggled with these fears and concerns for some time.  I had even begun to think of what I would say in a letter to my boys.  Finally, God reminded me that HE was in control!  I realized that if I was fully putting my trust in God, there would be no need to prepare for a mistake!  It’s like I was saying, I know God brought me into this & I know he will see me through…..but just in case God is having an off day, I will take control.  I don’t think it works that way…..we either FULLY trust in God or we don’t trust in God!!  While I do feel it is normal to have fears, I am certain that God choose me for this journey and I am certain he will see me through!

I have explained to my sweet boys that when a friend is in need, we should help in any way we can.  I have told them if someone is hungry we feed them, if someone is hurting we help them.  I tried to put it in terms that little boys could understand, I told them “what if one of your friends was having a really bad day? Let’s say at lunch your friend spilled their tray and all of the food fell on the floor.  Then on the playground that same friend fell off the monkey bars and was hurt, what would you do?  Would you just walk away and hope someone else would help them…..or would you help them up?”  It’s the same thing I am doing for Gary; I saw a friend in need and tried to walk away.  I hoped someone else would help him, until I realized God wanted me to help Gary!  A couple of weeks ago, I was having lunch at Jason’s Deli with my boys when the topic of me donating a kidney came up.  Gavin wanted to know how I could live with only one kidney.  I explained to him that we have several “extra” parts in our bodies that we can live without; for example, tonsils & appendix.  My very smart 8 year old looked up at me, shrugged his shoulders and said, “I get it, God gives us more than we need.”  He looked at his brother and said, “Here Ian want a chip?  God gave me too many.”  Oh I love that boy……I think he understood what I was saying!  Gavin & Ian have shown some concern for mommy.  I have tried to remind them that whenever we are scared or worried we can talk to God about it, and it always helps!  I feel that learning to FULLY trust God is one of the MANY lessons he is teaching me in this journey!

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

God's Timing

September 7, 2011

Surgery is only 22 days away and I am feeling a little overwhelmed!!  I am trying to keep up with everything else going on in my life right now.  The boys are in 1^st and 3^rd grade this year & keeping us very busy with baseball and Cub Scouts.  I work part-time in Simply Mom’s, an outpatient lactation center at Baylor and I also teach Childbirth and Infant CPR classes.  My fall semester began last week; I am taking 3 classes this semester.  I have submitted my application to the nursing program at UT Arlington and should receive a decision by November.  Some of you may be wondering, “Why are you donating a kidney right now?”  Or, “does she really need to add anything else to her busy life?”  Believe me, at times I feel like there is NO WAY I can handle all of this!  But, God quickly reminds me that he is in control!  I step back and think, as crazy as my life may be right now, I’m sure it’s nothing compared to the burden Gary has carried for the last couple of years with his kidney disease!  I believe that we all get caught up in our own little worlds.  For me, I know that I am meant to reach out and help Gary right now.  I know that God’s timing is perfect!!  I have faith that God will carry me through even when I feel like I can’t handle it!

I appreciate all of the prayers as we continue to prepare for surgery!

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.  Psalm 55:22